Well as of late FTW has taken on an entirely new meaning from "For the win".
Now it also doubles as an acronym for "Fuck the world."
Yeah that's right.
Fuck the world. And everyone who tries to make it worse.
I don't like how this is going. How the world is going. Gas prices up, global warming, unemployment, overpopulation, food shortages, earthquakes, murders, scandals and shitty people everywhere I dare look.
I wonder why I haven't kicked the bucket yet to be honest.
I guess it's because despite all the emo-ness I seem to emit deep down inside I'm also a very hopeful person. I'm the kind of person who really doesn't want to believe that everything is totally hopeless, that things will get better. At least that's usually what I believe.
I guess it's the Filipino in me, too. I live in the third-world where for all my comfort, outside the confines of my gated community where I and my brothers are pampered and sheltered to no end the Philippines is dying a slow and very painful death. Every weekend now gas prices go up and with it the price of food. There's not a day that I see something bad on the front page of a newspaper or a tabloid. With each passing year my contemporaries and I face higher risks of unemployment. And on top of that, for all the trappings of my comfortable life, the poison that has long since seeped into the country's very veins has reached us at last. The effects are still rather mild, thankfully.
But man.
I just don't know how long all of this will last. With each passing day I start to believe more and more the Buddhist tenet of life being evanescent and transitory. Not a day passes that I fear that everything I see around me will one day vanish without a trace, and not a day passes that I hope that when the time comes that everything will disintegrate and float away into space, I could disintegrate and float away with it, no care in the world whatsoever.
How long will this inbred optimism last me? I don't know. All I know is slowly, very slowly, it's all running out. :(
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wow.
I'd like to apologize to my main man Luigi and everyone else present last night (Nera, Roque, Don, Adam and Kip) dahil hindi ako naka-kuwento ng maayos kagabi. XD Haha believe it or not, I was a bit tipsy then and what you heard last night was really mostly the alcohol talking. Hina ko gagi... dalawang San Mig Light me tama na ako XD I'm not normally this way by the way :D I usually have a much higher threshold for alcohol. I guess it was because I didn't get enough to eat and I downed two beers in a go. I don't think it helped that they were both cold, either. LOL.
Anyway, last night was the most fun I've had in months. We all met for DotA in Hims round about 4 in the afternoon and then off we were to Eastwood: Me, Luigi and Roque in Nera's car and Kip and Adam in Don's car. :D Nera was such a genius... biro mo, akala ni someone na traffic dun sa tunnel kung kaya't nag-shortcut kami sa White Plains. XD And Lord knows it was the longest shortcut we'd ever taken; mula White Plains dumaan kami sa Acropolis at nag-U-turn sa may Libis. And Team Faylon still beat us to it. Turns out there was no traffic after all. Nice one, dude. Nice one. XD
We started the evening off with the usual dinner at Fazoli's. Bitin kami sa pagkain namin kung kaya't kahit na tapos na kaming kumain hinihintay pa rin namin yung aleng nagpapa-refill ng tinapay. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right: free breadsticks at Fazoli's; a must-try. :D
We went to Timezone for a bit for the Tekken tournament we normally have when we're in Eastwood. I didn't have much on me so most of what I did was watch Luigi, Adam, Don, Nera and Kip slug it out; I did play for a bit, though, as Hwoarang, although I wasn't really as good as I normally am on the PS; the joystick was hella hard to figure out. XD I lost to Nera; go figure. *sigh*
After a quick trip to the boxing machine or whatever that was where we collected tickets, we contemplated getting Neoprints at the machines nearby but decided to take a detour instead to the billiard hall-slash-bowling alley near the cinemas. :D We played a quick game of 9-ball and then spent the rest of our one hour playing Killers; I wasn't really bad, thank God, even got lucky and hit 2 balls in one. :D Hee... kudos to the birthday boy (Luigi) for paying for our fun. XD
I actually wanted to go to Emil's house already and watch Harold and Kumar with the guys since it was nearing 11:30 by which time I had to go home. (Sucks, I know) But they all decided to go to Dencio's for beers and hey, I can't say no to alcohol at a party, can I? XD
At Dencio's we bemoaned the lack of good service before being served up our orders of San Miguels and pork barbecue. So by then things had started to get interesting as we got to talking about our love-lives after college. However, two beers and little food into the discussion I was getting really tipsy (take note; uminom pa ako ng tubig in between beers para ma-dilute ang alcohol) and I literally swaggered to the downstairs toilet to take a leak and call my ride. I actually shouted my story to the guys and yeah, that's what killed the evening for me. Thank heavens I got some good advice especially from Don and Roque. >:D<
I could not help but be touched when Luigi, Don, Kip and Roque decided to stick with me while I went to McDo a few minutes later to wait for my ride and I said my goodbyes to Adam and Nera who were already off to Emil's house. I decided to buy some ice cream on the way there to sort of neutralize my growing headache... didn't work. XD But hell, it was good ice cream. :)
Anyway, after I said goodbye to my friends, the driver and I went to the Shell nearest our house to pick up some ice and coke (not the drugs, genius) for tomorrow (which is actually today but yeah, I'm still cool). :) Pretty interesting Thursday, though. Thanks to my friends for the time of my life. :)
Don actually invited us to his house for drinks next Tuesday; I'm not even sure if I can make it, though especially since it's enlistment day in UP for my batch. Sana payagan ako. :D
Anyway, last night was the most fun I've had in months. We all met for DotA in Hims round about 4 in the afternoon and then off we were to Eastwood: Me, Luigi and Roque in Nera's car and Kip and Adam in Don's car. :D Nera was such a genius... biro mo, akala ni someone na traffic dun sa tunnel kung kaya't nag-shortcut kami sa White Plains. XD And Lord knows it was the longest shortcut we'd ever taken; mula White Plains dumaan kami sa Acropolis at nag-U-turn sa may Libis. And Team Faylon still beat us to it. Turns out there was no traffic after all. Nice one, dude. Nice one. XD
We started the evening off with the usual dinner at Fazoli's. Bitin kami sa pagkain namin kung kaya't kahit na tapos na kaming kumain hinihintay pa rin namin yung aleng nagpapa-refill ng tinapay. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right: free breadsticks at Fazoli's; a must-try. :D
We went to Timezone for a bit for the Tekken tournament we normally have when we're in Eastwood. I didn't have much on me so most of what I did was watch Luigi, Adam, Don, Nera and Kip slug it out; I did play for a bit, though, as Hwoarang, although I wasn't really as good as I normally am on the PS; the joystick was hella hard to figure out. XD I lost to Nera; go figure. *sigh*
After a quick trip to the boxing machine or whatever that was where we collected tickets, we contemplated getting Neoprints at the machines nearby but decided to take a detour instead to the billiard hall-slash-bowling alley near the cinemas. :D We played a quick game of 9-ball and then spent the rest of our one hour playing Killers; I wasn't really bad, thank God, even got lucky and hit 2 balls in one. :D Hee... kudos to the birthday boy (Luigi) for paying for our fun. XD
I actually wanted to go to Emil's house already and watch Harold and Kumar with the guys since it was nearing 11:30 by which time I had to go home. (Sucks, I know) But they all decided to go to Dencio's for beers and hey, I can't say no to alcohol at a party, can I? XD
At Dencio's we bemoaned the lack of good service before being served up our orders of San Miguels and pork barbecue. So by then things had started to get interesting as we got to talking about our love-lives after college. However, two beers and little food into the discussion I was getting really tipsy (take note; uminom pa ako ng tubig in between beers para ma-dilute ang alcohol) and I literally swaggered to the downstairs toilet to take a leak and call my ride. I actually shouted my story to the guys and yeah, that's what killed the evening for me. Thank heavens I got some good advice especially from Don and Roque. >:D<
I could not help but be touched when Luigi, Don, Kip and Roque decided to stick with me while I went to McDo a few minutes later to wait for my ride and I said my goodbyes to Adam and Nera who were already off to Emil's house. I decided to buy some ice cream on the way there to sort of neutralize my growing headache... didn't work. XD But hell, it was good ice cream. :)
Anyway, after I said goodbye to my friends, the driver and I went to the Shell nearest our house to pick up some ice and coke (not the drugs, genius) for tomorrow (which is actually today but yeah, I'm still cool). :) Pretty interesting Thursday, though. Thanks to my friends for the time of my life. :)
Don actually invited us to his house for drinks next Tuesday; I'm not even sure if I can make it, though especially since it's enlistment day in UP for my batch. Sana payagan ako. :D
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Blah.
It was a pretty chill day today. We heard Mass early and then ate lunch at Super Bowl of China in the Jupiter in Makati. Still stuffed, though. XD
Nothing obscenely eventful has happened in the past week. I was usually at the computer as I always am when I'm bored.
I would have expected nothing less from this summer, actually, other than the hope of getting my driver's license by the end of summer. That will have to wait, though.
Actually I'm not so scared of driving anymore. I've come to accept the fact that I will never get anywhere unless I get up and accept failure head-on. But now that I'm confident enough to drive on a regular basis, I kind of feel that driving's mega-overrated. No one needs to have superpowers to learn how to drive; they just need confidence and common sense. I actually could care less about getting my license by the end of the summer. Actually I could get it during my sem break if I wanted to. I'll just practice every day. :D
Anyway, umaamag na ako dito sa bahay, OK. I actually can't wait for the school year to start where I will finally get my taste of college life after an entire year doomed to nothing general electives. The third and final batch run will be this Tuesday, and even if I don't get 18 units, I don't have to pre-rog since I was fortunate enough to get the minimum load of 15 units. But I will anyway, if only to a) experience pre-rogging and b) experience the adequate 18-unit load. :)
Hopefully papayagan ako nina ermats sa birthday ni Luigi. Luigi Aganon is my best friend from high school and it's his birthday this May 29, along with my good friend, Duey Guison. Can't wait. It'll probably be the most exciting thing I'll experience this summer, aside from going through the trouble of getting my own Tax Identification Number (TIN) from the SSS in Pasig last April. Just hope I can stay overnight. :D
Well, that's enough about my life. Gotta run.
Nothing obscenely eventful has happened in the past week. I was usually at the computer as I always am when I'm bored.
I would have expected nothing less from this summer, actually, other than the hope of getting my driver's license by the end of summer. That will have to wait, though.
Actually I'm not so scared of driving anymore. I've come to accept the fact that I will never get anywhere unless I get up and accept failure head-on. But now that I'm confident enough to drive on a regular basis, I kind of feel that driving's mega-overrated. No one needs to have superpowers to learn how to drive; they just need confidence and common sense. I actually could care less about getting my license by the end of the summer. Actually I could get it during my sem break if I wanted to. I'll just practice every day. :D
Anyway, umaamag na ako dito sa bahay, OK. I actually can't wait for the school year to start where I will finally get my taste of college life after an entire year doomed to nothing general electives. The third and final batch run will be this Tuesday, and even if I don't get 18 units, I don't have to pre-rog since I was fortunate enough to get the minimum load of 15 units. But I will anyway, if only to a) experience pre-rogging and b) experience the adequate 18-unit load. :)
Hopefully papayagan ako nina ermats sa birthday ni Luigi. Luigi Aganon is my best friend from high school and it's his birthday this May 29, along with my good friend, Duey Guison. Can't wait. It'll probably be the most exciting thing I'll experience this summer, aside from going through the trouble of getting my own Tax Identification Number (TIN) from the SSS in Pasig last April. Just hope I can stay overnight. :D
Well, that's enough about my life. Gotta run.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Kill your TV.
Or kill yourself watching TV.
And listening to the radio.
And watching a movie.
Because frankly, the mainstream is dead, quality-wise.
Because a lot of famous artists nowadays care about two things and two things only: getting rich and getting famous. I'm sick of all the half-assed, pathetic excuses for movies, music and TV nowadays. A lot of them are tacky and cliche. It's like it doesn't matter anymore to them whether or not the work is critically acclaimed or not. As long as they're rolling in the Benjamins, they don't see any reason to complain.
I'm jealous of the teenagers who came of age in previous decades. Whether they knew it or not, what they were watching on TV or in the cinemas, or listening to on the radio or on their players, was magic. It was always something new, fresh, edgy, meaningful. Whether it was Frank Sinatra or Nirvana, Sleeping Beauty or Back to the Future, Happy Days or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, there was always something new around the corner, waiting to be discovered. Something true, something intimate, something made with love by someone who intended to spread his message, however controversial, to the world, and say, "This is my world, my voice, my identity, and fuck you if you can't handle me."
And yet here we are, in the year 2000. An age upheld by the four pillars science, technology, capitalism and consumerism. The humanities are dying a slow and painful death, and no one's doing a damn thing about it. I'm sick of The Jonas Brothers. I'm sick of Hannah Montana and Zoey 101. I'm sick of Avril Lavigne, of Simple Plan, of mainstream Fall Out Boy and Pete Wentz marrying probably the second biggest poseur on the planet, Ashlee Simpson. I'm sick of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. I'm sick of scripted reality shows. I'm sick of crunky rap. I'm sick of sell-outs. I'm sick of scenesters. I'm sick of poseurs. I'm sick of mediocrity. I'm sick of people with inferiority complexes and over-inflated egos wanting to be famous. I'm sick of anorexic/bulimic models. I'm sick of cheese and shallow things.
I just wish we could all go back to a time and place when everything wasn't so fake. When everything was full of substance. When everyone did things out of love and not for the money. Fuck the mainstream.
I'm going to bed. Wake things up when the scene isn't dominated by losers.
And listening to the radio.
And watching a movie.
Because frankly, the mainstream is dead, quality-wise.
Because a lot of famous artists nowadays care about two things and two things only: getting rich and getting famous. I'm sick of all the half-assed, pathetic excuses for movies, music and TV nowadays. A lot of them are tacky and cliche. It's like it doesn't matter anymore to them whether or not the work is critically acclaimed or not. As long as they're rolling in the Benjamins, they don't see any reason to complain.
I'm jealous of the teenagers who came of age in previous decades. Whether they knew it or not, what they were watching on TV or in the cinemas, or listening to on the radio or on their players, was magic. It was always something new, fresh, edgy, meaningful. Whether it was Frank Sinatra or Nirvana, Sleeping Beauty or Back to the Future, Happy Days or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, there was always something new around the corner, waiting to be discovered. Something true, something intimate, something made with love by someone who intended to spread his message, however controversial, to the world, and say, "This is my world, my voice, my identity, and fuck you if you can't handle me."
And yet here we are, in the year 2000. An age upheld by the four pillars science, technology, capitalism and consumerism. The humanities are dying a slow and painful death, and no one's doing a damn thing about it. I'm sick of The Jonas Brothers. I'm sick of Hannah Montana and Zoey 101. I'm sick of Avril Lavigne, of Simple Plan, of mainstream Fall Out Boy and Pete Wentz marrying probably the second biggest poseur on the planet, Ashlee Simpson. I'm sick of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. I'm sick of scripted reality shows. I'm sick of crunky rap. I'm sick of sell-outs. I'm sick of scenesters. I'm sick of poseurs. I'm sick of mediocrity. I'm sick of people with inferiority complexes and over-inflated egos wanting to be famous. I'm sick of anorexic/bulimic models. I'm sick of cheese and shallow things.
I just wish we could all go back to a time and place when everything wasn't so fake. When everything was full of substance. When everyone did things out of love and not for the money. Fuck the mainstream.
I'm going to bed. Wake things up when the scene isn't dominated by losers.
Friday, May 16, 2008
You want romance?
Because I don't.
At least, not right now.
The reason why I don't have a girlfriend yet isn't really because I'm torpe. Actually I've grown a lot in a short amount of time. I can ask a girl on a date if I wanted to.
It's just... yun na nga. I don't want to.
For some reason most of the girls I come across don't interest me. And the few that do--well, they're either already taken or they're not allowed to have boyfriends yet.
I guess it's largely in part to my individualistic nature. Of course like any human I yearn for friendship, for love, for affection, for trust--- but really, I like being alone more than anything else. I'm the kind of guy who would rather not socialize if I didn't need to or if I didn't like the people I'm with or both. I like being alone. It helps me think.
I just wish I could have one. At least one. To see what it's like. How it's like to kiss someone. To laugh and cry with someone. To feel so much affection and emotion for someone that it hurts, and the only way to stop all the pain is to show her that love that she needs and deserves. Para naman masabi ko na I've been there, done that.
And I hope whoever she is, she comes and comes soon. Before it's too late.
Damn... just to know what it's like to love someone. I want that for myself.
At least, not right now.
The reason why I don't have a girlfriend yet isn't really because I'm torpe. Actually I've grown a lot in a short amount of time. I can ask a girl on a date if I wanted to.
It's just... yun na nga. I don't want to.
For some reason most of the girls I come across don't interest me. And the few that do--well, they're either already taken or they're not allowed to have boyfriends yet.
I guess it's largely in part to my individualistic nature. Of course like any human I yearn for friendship, for love, for affection, for trust--- but really, I like being alone more than anything else. I'm the kind of guy who would rather not socialize if I didn't need to or if I didn't like the people I'm with or both. I like being alone. It helps me think.
I just wish I could have one. At least one. To see what it's like. How it's like to kiss someone. To laugh and cry with someone. To feel so much affection and emotion for someone that it hurts, and the only way to stop all the pain is to show her that love that she needs and deserves. Para naman masabi ko na I've been there, done that.
And I hope whoever she is, she comes and comes soon. Before it's too late.
Damn... just to know what it's like to love someone. I want that for myself.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Stings like a bitch.
I was never one for changes.
Well, not all changes, really. In fact, I rather like change. But not really really drastic change.
Unfortunately, that's what my family and I are up against. For the next three months, at least.
The talk ended mere moments ago, and frankly, I'm still shaken, unable to grasp what had just transpired. I can't divulge all the details. Not now. Not here. This is between my family and me.
No, no one's dying. Thankfully. But what my family is up against is something most people fear just as much as they fear death--- and that is the uncertain future.
Fact of the matter is, things around here won't be the same in a matter of time. I won't say things will never be the same again. In fact, that's what I'm hoping not to happen. What I'm hoping for is that all we'll be experiencing for a while is a transition period and nothing more. What I'm hoping for is for things to get better. Not worse. But---and let's be realistic here---we'll never know for sure.
Even as I type this down, I can't help but worry. Especially since this day has been quite anticlimactic, at least for me. I mean, spending a perfectly normal, rather good day at home with the people you love---and now this. I don't know what to say, except that yes, I'm still in shock.
It's like the energy has been drained out of my system. I feel numb and cold and depressed and scared and oh, most definitely tired. Like all I want to do for the remainder of the night is lay down and fall asleep. Possibly forever.
I'm quite sure we can all make it through. It's a storm, not a typhoon. Kaya pa 'yan. But all I need is confirmation, reassurance, proof, from some omniscient, omnipotent entity that everything's going to be all right.
I'm going to bed.
Well, not all changes, really. In fact, I rather like change. But not really really drastic change.
Unfortunately, that's what my family and I are up against. For the next three months, at least.
The talk ended mere moments ago, and frankly, I'm still shaken, unable to grasp what had just transpired. I can't divulge all the details. Not now. Not here. This is between my family and me.
No, no one's dying. Thankfully. But what my family is up against is something most people fear just as much as they fear death--- and that is the uncertain future.
Fact of the matter is, things around here won't be the same in a matter of time. I won't say things will never be the same again. In fact, that's what I'm hoping not to happen. What I'm hoping for is that all we'll be experiencing for a while is a transition period and nothing more. What I'm hoping for is for things to get better. Not worse. But---and let's be realistic here---we'll never know for sure.
Even as I type this down, I can't help but worry. Especially since this day has been quite anticlimactic, at least for me. I mean, spending a perfectly normal, rather good day at home with the people you love---and now this. I don't know what to say, except that yes, I'm still in shock.
It's like the energy has been drained out of my system. I feel numb and cold and depressed and scared and oh, most definitely tired. Like all I want to do for the remainder of the night is lay down and fall asleep. Possibly forever.
I'm quite sure we can all make it through. It's a storm, not a typhoon. Kaya pa 'yan. But all I need is confirmation, reassurance, proof, from some omniscient, omnipotent entity that everything's going to be all right.
I'm going to bed.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Ummm... Hi. :D
Hey there, everyone! :D I actually had a blog on Blogspot before but I stopped using it in favor of Multiply. XD
Multiply has been my home for quite some time but now I've decided I'd go make a proper blog independent of Multiply. :P And so here I am, back on Blogspot, after... hmmm... what, two or three years? Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
About me... hmm. I'm not about to reveal my identity to the whole world, so bully for you. :) Nothing personal, it's just that we all know how the Internet tends to harbor untrustworthy individuals. Not that anyone would want to rape me or something LOL, just want to protect my person is all. :)
However, this blog will be accessible to all my intimates, which basically means everyone on my Yahoo! buddy list so they will obviously know who I am. :D
But since I'm a good person... well, generally speaking XD, I've decided I'll let everyone in on my personal life and allow comments as long as they're nice and decent. K? K. :) Now enjoy the wasteland that is my social life! :)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my screen name and site name is a play on the AFI album Decemberunderground. I've altered it because I was born in November. Hee. The more you know! ^___^
Multiply has been my home for quite some time but now I've decided I'd go make a proper blog independent of Multiply. :P And so here I am, back on Blogspot, after... hmmm... what, two or three years? Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
About me... hmm. I'm not about to reveal my identity to the whole world, so bully for you. :) Nothing personal, it's just that we all know how the Internet tends to harbor untrustworthy individuals. Not that anyone would want to rape me or something LOL, just want to protect my person is all. :)
However, this blog will be accessible to all my intimates, which basically means everyone on my Yahoo! buddy list so they will obviously know who I am. :D
But since I'm a good person... well, generally speaking XD, I've decided I'll let everyone in on my personal life and allow comments as long as they're nice and decent. K? K. :) Now enjoy the wasteland that is my social life! :)
Oh, and in case you're wondering, my screen name and site name is a play on the AFI album Decemberunderground. I've altered it because I was born in November. Hee. The more you know! ^___^
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
