Stings like a bitch.

I was never one for changes.

Well, not all changes, really. In fact, I rather like change. But not really really drastic change.

Unfortunately, that's what my family and I are up against. For the next three months, at least.

The talk ended mere moments ago, and frankly, I'm still shaken, unable to grasp what had just transpired. I can't divulge all the details. Not now. Not here. This is between my family and me.

No, no one's dying. Thankfully. But what my family is up against is something most people fear just as much as they fear death--- and that is the uncertain future.

Fact of the matter is, things around here won't be the same in a matter of time. I won't say things will never be the same again. In fact, that's what I'm hoping not to happen. What I'm hoping for is that all we'll be experiencing for a while is a transition period and nothing more. What I'm hoping for is for things to get better. Not worse. But---and let's be realistic here---we'll never know for sure.

Even as I type this down, I can't help but worry. Especially since this day has been quite anticlimactic, at least for me. I mean, spending a perfectly normal, rather good day at home with the people you love---and now this. I don't know what to say, except that yes, I'm still in shock.

It's like the energy has been drained out of my system. I feel numb and cold and depressed and scared and oh, most definitely tired. Like all I want to do for the remainder of the night is lay down and fall asleep. Possibly forever.

I'm quite sure we can all make it through. It's a storm, not a typhoon. Kaya pa 'yan. But all I need is confirmation, reassurance, proof, from some omniscient, omnipotent entity that everything's going to be all right.

I'm going to bed.