Jaded.

Well as of late FTW has taken on an entirely new meaning from "For the win".

Now it also doubles as an acronym for "Fuck the world."

Yeah that's right.

Fuck the world. And everyone who tries to make it worse.

I don't like how this is going. How the world is going. Gas prices up, global warming, unemployment, overpopulation, food shortages, earthquakes, murders, scandals and shitty people everywhere I dare look.

I wonder why I haven't kicked the bucket yet to be honest.

I guess it's because despite all the emo-ness I seem to emit deep down inside I'm also a very hopeful person. I'm the kind of person who really doesn't want to believe that everything is totally hopeless, that things will get better. At least that's usually what I believe.

I guess it's the Filipino in me, too. I live in the third-world where for all my comfort, outside the confines of my gated community where I and my brothers are pampered and sheltered to no end the Philippines is dying a slow and very painful death. Every weekend now gas prices go up and with it the price of food. There's not a day that I see something bad on the front page of a newspaper or a tabloid. With each passing year my contemporaries and I face higher risks of unemployment. And on top of that, for all the trappings of my comfortable life, the poison that has long since seeped into the country's very veins has reached us at last. The effects are still rather mild, thankfully.

But man.

I just don't know how long all of this will last. With each passing day I start to believe more and more the Buddhist tenet of life being evanescent and transitory. Not a day passes that I fear that everything I see around me will one day vanish without a trace, and not a day passes that I hope that when the time comes that everything will disintegrate and float away into space, I could disintegrate and float away with it, no care in the world whatsoever.

How long will this inbred optimism last me? I don't know. All I know is slowly, very slowly, it's all running out. :(